As This Year Comes to An End

It's like one of those moments when you feel like "crap!! another year has passed and I have achieved nothing. NOTHING!!!!"

yep! exactly how I feel right now. Knowing that I'm graduating this year (hopefully), I started panicking about my life after college a long time ago, but now it's more like the feeling of regretting the fact that I haven't done enough or college.

When you are a freshman in college, you either feel that you need to get suited up and start partying or get suited for tons of classes waiting ahead of you. Well, I fit the latter one, and I'm glad I have done so. There's a fact that you guys should know: even since I started taking upper division classes, I have got a single A. I've got some A-'s, but it's never been a solid A. Sometimes I messed up on my midterm or projects, sometime I messed up on the finals, and sometimes I just messed up both. My sister has told me that the companies usually don't look at your GPA. Apparently they only care about your college and major. Fine, if that's the case, I guess I don't have to worry about my GPA that much. However, I AM glad that I did pretty well on my lower div. classes.

Back to topic. As I became a junior, I decided to finally widen my social circle and party it up. The result? I stayed in my lab most of the time. Party? What party?

And here we go. This is the fourth year and hopefully the last year of my college life, and I feel that I've got nothing done. True, I've learned something in college; true, I've had some fun, but in the end I feel like I'm still not ready for the real life which is finding a job and be my boss's bitch until I die or retire, whichever comes first.

Like I said at the beginning, this is one of those moments when you feel like you have got nothing done. This usually happens to me when I make new year's resolution or birthday wishes. Something bad about being a Chinese? You've got two new years, so you make the resolutions twice......and you feel really bad twice......

My dad often tells me to update my resume constantly so that I don't forget to put anything important on. I always tell him: "Dad, the only thing that will change on my resume is that my GPA dropped again." and this is usually the time my sister starts laughing at me. Thanks, sis.

Anyway, so here's my new year's resolution, and it looks pretty much like last year's......

1) pull up my GPA

2) graduate on time

3) find a job

4) know more people

5) stay in touch with friends

6) consistently practice guitar

7) exercise and train for marathon

8) improve basketball skill

9) get a girl friend (?)

At this point of my life, I really don't give a crap about school anymore, but I guess school would not just go away simply because I give up on it, so i guess I gotta do what I gotta do. Life sucks, isn't it? You know what else sucks? A vacuum.

This is #5 on the list